Lightning Fill In The Blank

Apr 4, 2020
Originally published on April 17, 2020 3:34 pm
Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points.

Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Mo has three points. Alonzo has four. And Roxanne has six.

SAGAL: Well done, Roxanne. Well, that means that, Mo, you are in third place. So the clock will start when I begin your first question. According to a new report, favorite son-in-law blank is controlling the White House's pandemic response from behind the scenes.

MO ROCCA: Junkyard Jared Kushner.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Representative Mark Meadows resigned from Congress to become President Trump's blank.

ROCCA: Campaign manager - reelection - chief of staff.

SAGAL: Chief of staff, yeah. Following weeks of criticism, Ron DeSantis, the governor of blank, issued a statewide stay-at-home order on Wednesday.

ROCCA: Florida.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a man in Washington state who hit two parked cars and led police on a high-speed chase explained to officers he was just blanking.

ROCCA: Trying to social distance.

SAGAL: No, he was just trying to teach his dog how to drive. On Monday, officials in Japan announced the new dates for the postponed 2020 blanks.

ROCCA: Olympics.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, online giant blank announced it would provide surgical masks for its warehouse workers.

ROCCA: Amazon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Although it's technically under lockdown, the streets...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...In a small town in Wales have been filled with blank.

ROCCA: Goats.

SAGAL: Yes, Mo - goats.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good. While all the humans are stuck inside, the suddenly empty city of Llandudno has become a complete goats' town. Dozens of goats came down from the nearby mountains...

ROXANNE ROBERTS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...And have decided to make the town their home. They've even started taking over local businesses, which is why the Starbucks will never run out of goat milk.

(SOUNDBITE OF BLEATING GOAT SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: Bill...

ROBERTS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...How did Mo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Mo had five right for 10 more points. He now has 13 and the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: All Right. OK. Alonzo, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Sunday, blank launched another ballistic missile into the Sea of Japan.

ALONZO BODDEN: North Korea.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, a federal appeals court rejected the Florida GOP's effort to limit felons' blank rights.

BODDEN: Voting rights.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Despite virus fears, bookings for blank in 2021 are on the rise.

BODDEN: Cruises.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: You're in luck, Alonzo. Saying they were needed to protect a dignitary, the Secret Service signed an emergency order for 30 blanks this week.

BODDEN: Golf carts.

BODDEN: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After being quarantined in Australia, actor and sometimes guest host blank returned to the United States on Monday.

ROBERTS: (Laughter).

BODDEN: Tom Hanks.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man bored during quarantine conducted a long investigation...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...And discovered that the name for Triscuit crackers comes from blank.

BODDEN: The name for Triscuit crackers comes from biscuits.

SAGAL: No, it comes from electricity. You see, if you look at Triscuits, obviously the scuits (ph) part is biscuits. But what's the tri part? And he found out it's elec-tri-city (ph). He also found out a variation created to be served at circumcision ceremonies are called the brisket.

(BOOING)

ROBERTS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Alonzo had five right. For 10 more points, he now has 14 and takes over the lead.

SAGAL: And what does Roxanne have to do to walk away with this?

KURTIS: She only needs four to tie, five to win.

SAGAL: Here we go Roxanne. It's almost too easy.

ROCCA: Can I just interrupt for one second, Peter? Can I just interrupt you to say all these years I've always found it sweet the way that Bill will say that we're in the lead - right? - before the other people - before the other panelists have answered the speed round yet. It feels like a T-ball game or something.

SAGAL: It really does.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Everybody's a winner of this game.

SAGAL: All right, Roxanne, this is for the game. Fill in the blank.

ROBERTS: OK.

SAGAL: On Thursday, the DNC announced it was postponing the blank until August.

ROBERTS: The nominating convention.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the Fed predicted that U.S. blank rates could hit 32%.

ROBERTS: Unemployment.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Mike Pence blamed the U.S.'s slow response to blank on the CDC.

ROBERTS: Coronavirus.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After another drop on Tuesday, the blank had its worst first quarter since the 2008 financial crisis.

ROBERTS: Wall Street, stock market.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a cyclist had to be airlifted to the hospital after he crashed his bike while raising money for blank.

ROBERTS: Bicyclists.

SAGAL: No, for rescue helicopters. On Monday, researchers confirmed the first ever heat wave in blank.

ROBERTS: Antarctica.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the FDA recalled heartburn medication blank over fears it may cause cancer.

ROBERTS: Zantac.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An online work meeting went off the rails this week when the woman running it....

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Accidentally blanked.

ROBERTS: Oh, when she posted a picture of herself as a potato.

SAGAL: Close enough. She accidentally turned on a filter that made her look like a potato and couldn't figure out how to turn it off.

ROBERTS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: It's one of the most common problems with virtual meetings. You gather the whole team together, and then one of you turns into a potato with big red lips and droopy eyes.

ROBERTS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Apparently, the filter is just one of many fun options Microsoft includes in its meetings software. Unfortunately, the woman couldn't find out how to turn it off, so she was forced to be a work potato until the end of the meeting, when she transitioned into a couch potato.

ROCCA: She was wearing one of those tuber tops.

ROBERTS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Bill, Roxanne...

ROBERTS: All eyes were on her.

SAGAL: I'm not even going to pose this as a question, Bill. Roxanne did well enough to win, right?

KURTIS: She got seven right for 14 more points. Listen to this, with Mr. Potato Head, she got 20 points. And she's the winner this week again.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

BODDEN: Yeah, it was close.

SAGAL: It was.

BODDEN: (Laughter).

SAGAL: You guys, you...

BODDEN: Real nail-biter.

SAGAL: You gave her a game, though. You gave her a game. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.